Originally majoring in anthropology, I focused my degree on Egyptology and Egyptian hieroglyphs. It's an interest I've had since I was a boy when given an ancient Egyptian scarab one year for Christmas. I examined the strange pictures on the bottom of the scarab while wondering what they all meant.
“Nobody knows!” was Mother and Father’s answer.
So I made it my life goal to solve the mystery of the scarab. I fancy myself as a modern day Jean Francois Champollion; the pioneer who deciphered the once undecipherable ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs.
After completing my degree, it was time to turn my studies into a career; but I found out that work as an Egyptologist was far and few between. The only job available at the museum was to pre-rinse the cafeteria pans before loading them in the dishwasher. It was a job that at the time only paid $6.50 per hour. If they opportunity presented itself, eventually I could work my way into maintenance and actually build the displays that showcase ancient instruments and mummies. But it still wouldn't pay very well. Currently I am thinking of turning my attentions towards teaching.
I have a friend who takes an interest in strange things, along with a morbid fascination with the macabre. His home is decorated with frightful things. Among his decor is a native-American mummy hanging over the staircase in his home. He somehow purchased it from an archaeological dig that had been done out in Arizona where a collection of perfectly mummified corpses were preserved in the dry, desert sands.
Anyway, I visited him one afternoon when he and his wife had complained about these strange, paranormal activities happening around the home. It got so bad that they hired a paranormal investigator to come in the home and provide some answers. Nothing out of the ordinary was found.
After hearing their stories, I finally commented and asked if they thought maybe removing the damned corpse from the ceiling of their staircase (which overlooked the family room) would improve things. I pointed out that people with a fascination of the macabre tend to attract strange things like hauntings. But my friend didn't think the mummy or frightful objects had anything to do with the paranormal activities in his home!
My friend soon cracked open a bottle of gin, and we had a few shots while watching TV. Just then, the Antique Road Show came on. I asked my friend if he ever thought his collection of frightful objects could be sold for money. In particular, I asked if he ever checked what the price of his mummy could bring. At that very moment, we mutually decided to bring it to the Antique Road Show! It was the craziest idea. But what made it so pursuable was the fact that the Antique Road Show was coming to Chicago, soon! We all agreed to take the mummy down from the ceiling and place it in a wooden box to bring in for an antique appraiser to examine on the show.
Now the mummy itself doesn't weigh very much. I believe the corpse is that of a child and couldn't weigh more than 60 pounds. But the wooden box with 60 pounds of mummy made it heavier. Packaging such an item is no easy task either. You wonder if it will hold up and withstand possible shifting while in the box.
On the morning of the appearance of the Antique Road Show we started to think that our plan was a bad idea. Fortunately, my friend brought along his bottle of gin and we all had a few shots before getting out of the truck and carrying the box into the building.
We never made it to an appraiser, but the mummy sure caused a scene! You see, there was a long line of people bringing in boxes and suitcases of their antique junk which needed to be inspected by security. When it was finally our turn, we were asked of the contents of the box in which my friend had replied that it was the 10,000 year old mummy of a native American child dug up in the Arizona desert. The box was opened and the security guard's jaw dropped!
Screams could be heard from people. Some crazy lady kept yelling that we had a mummy in the box and that it was so ugly. The security guard sternly told us that we could not bring something like that in the building and ordered us to remove it from the premises.
I really hoped I could solve the problem of my friend's paranormal activities by having the mummy sold; but after the incident, it continues to be hung over the staircase of their home.
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