Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Ice Cream Truck

Hello All:
It's summer, and what kid doesn't look forward to the ice cream truck? Here's a story all about the ice cream truck.
Ice Cream Truck
It was a hot summer afternoon with temperature on the thermometer reading 91 degrees. Like many summer afternoons throughout the week, the familiar jingle of the ice cream truck could be heard from a distance as it made its way into the subdivision. Kids from all over recognized the familiar tune of 'she'll be comin' 'round the mountain', accompanied by an early-2000's techno/hip-hop sort of beat. And just as reminder that children throughout the neighborhood better have their money ready, the modern-day jingle included the voice of a kid that yelled out, "Hello!!!" in the middle of the song. Ah, yes... what child doesn't get excited when hearing this?
Billy was one such kid who immediately recognized the ice cream truck. He had been playing hard all day long at the neighborhood park and could really use one of those extra jumbo, double-stuffed ice cream sandwiches. He hopped on his BMX bicycle and raced home.
Sailing into the driveway, he did a tricky dismount in front of his father who was washing his car. "Dad! Dad! I hear the ice cream truck! Can I get an ice cream sandwich?"
"Don't you have any money?" asked Father.
"No, I used up all my allowance."
"Well..." began Father while reaching into his back pocket for the wallet. "Tell you what. Here's ten dollars. Get me an ice cream cone, your sister Maggie an ice cream cookie, and get your mother an orange dreamsicle. And get yourself something as well."
Billy snatched the money away and raced off on his bike towards the sound of the ice cream truck. He had to find where it was, or miss his chance at getting his much-needed double-stuffed ice cream sandwich.
"Billy, wait!" shouted Father. "Where are you going?"
But Billy didn't hear his father call out. He was too much in tune with locating the ice cream truck. Had he been listening to his father, he would have received some really good advice of simply waiting for the ice cream truck to drive down their street and stop.
Billy frantically peddled his way throughout the subdivision, all the while the sound of the ice cream truck grew louder. Then, on Prairie Drive, Billy finally spotted the ice cream truck with four kids standing in line and waiting their turn to request their favorite ice cream. Billy soon joined them. There was no reason to have any more stress. Billy found the truck and was in line with money. It was as good as having the ice cream in his hands.
Now this particular afternoon was just a few days after the Fourth of July holiday. This meant that the neighborhood pyromaniac on Prairie Drive still had a small collection of leftover fireworks. And what better thing to do on a hot summer day than to set a large cannon with mega-boom mortar shell in the middle of the street? When lit, the user is urged to run away, fast, because a large mortar is shot up into the sky to blow up. And this is what the neighborhood pyromaniac did. He lit the cannon not too far away from the ice cream truck and ran away.
"BOOM!!!" the cannon exploded while shooting large mortar into the sky. Seconds later an earth-shattering  KA-BOOM could be heard. It was so loud that car alarms on the block went off.
"Wow!" exclaimed the ice cream man while handing popsicles to a pair of girls. His head was shaved and he had a cheesy pedo-stache. He wore a white t-shirt and had steroid-ripped muscles behind it."Is it still the Fourth of July?"
Soon it was Billy's turn. He ordered, "Could I have a double-stuffed ice cream sandwich, an ice cream cone, an ice cream cookie, and an orange dreamsicle?"
"Sure kid!" answered the ice cream man. His enormous, muscular arms flipped open the freezer compartments and retrieved all the items of Billy's order. "That'll be $9.50."
Billy handed the ice cream man the ten dollar bill which Father gave him. And that's the moment when the ice cream man spotted the police car driving down Prairie Drive.
"Oh shit!" exclaimed the ice cream man. He didn't even bother to give Billy his fifty cents in change. Even while kids excitedly ran up to the ice cream truck to make their requests, the ice cream man shifted the transmission into drive and carefully pulled away while hoping to escape the neighborhood without being apprehended by the police officer. You see, the ice cream man owns a private business but does not have a permit to sell ice cream throughout the neighborhoods in town.
"Why?"—you might ask?
Well, you see, the ice cream man is a registered sex offender. He's a pedophile, and was caught with a child some years ago. Being the case, the ice cream man cannot get a permit to sell ice cream to children. And if the cops discover he is selling ice cream on the neighborhood streets without a permit, he could get busted.
The ice cream made it to the next street and raced his way out of the subdivision. Children stood dumbfounded because he would not stop. Some of them even started to cry.
But the police weren't the least bit interested in the ice cream man. Really, the officer made his way over to Prairie Drive to issue a fine to the neighborhood pyromaniac for lighting more dangerous fireworks. Neighbors immediately called after hearing the explosion.
As for Billy, he was happy to have his ice cream. Unfortunately, it was necessary to fumble with the items while racing his bike home. Then, much to Billy's dismay, he dropped everything onto the street. But it was too late to quickly retrieve it. In the process of passing Billy up, a car drove over the double-stuffed ice cream sandwich, the ice cream cone, the ice cream cookie, and the orange dreamsicle. The tires smashed everything into the street.
"Oh no!" cried out Billy. He stood there and shook his head in disbelief while examining the messy aftermath. "I guess I ran out of luck." he reasoned. With that, Billy hopped back onto his bicycle and peddled his way home. But he was no longer so excited.
While pulling into the driveway, Billy sadly rode up to his father who was not drying off the car.
"Where's the ice cream?" demanded Father.
"I ran out of luck." explained Billy. "I was riding home with it and everything fell out of my hands onto the street. Then a car ran over it."
Father was outraged. "You're a fucking asshole, you know that Billy?"
Billy pouted and looked at the driveway.
"I mean why the fuck would you take off on your bike to find the ice cream truck? You could have stayed here and waited for it. Didn't you hear me calling out?"
Billy shrugged his shoulders. Then he looked up and asked, "Could I have some more money and wait for the ice cream truck to come here." He was unaware that the ice cream man was long gone from the subdivision.
"No!" answered Father.

The End!

Friday, June 17, 2016

Review of the Anderson Japanese Garden in Rockford, Illinois

Looking for a nature activity to do this weekend? Might I suggest the Anderson Japanese Garden in Rockford, Illinois? I took the wife and kids there on a recent weekend and was very impressed. Let me tell you all about in today's featured writing. 
Have a great weekend! Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there.
Review of the Anderson Japanese Garden in Rockford, Illinois
If you've ever visited one, then you'll certainly agree that a Japanese garden is a wonderful place to visit, offering beauty and tranquility which restores your peace of mind. My wife, kids and I recently visited one located in Rockford, Illinois: the Anderson Japanese Garden. It’s located off Creek Road in Rockford.
Construction of the Anderson Japanese Garden initially began in the late 1970s when Rockford business man, John Anderson, wished to recreate his experience during a visit to the Portland Japanese Garden in Oregon. Anderson soon converted his own backyard into a private Japanese garden and employed the expertise of Hoichi Kurisu to do so. The garden was ultimately donated in 1998 to the Rockford Rotary Charitable Association. To this day, people can visit the Alexander Japanese Garden and—according to their website— receive "...a place of peace and tranquility where they will find healing, renewal, inspiration, and a re-energized soul"
Visitors are encouraged to feed the numerous coy fish located in the ponds. The fish excitedly race through the water and eagerly accept food which is sold at the admission counter. And it isn't just the coy fish that swim over for food! There are plenty of mallard ducks who swoop in to try and share a meal with the fish. So much fun!
The entire garden is hand crafted with an exquisite touch of art. Huge stones are stacked and placed about which leaves you feeling like they had always been there. And be sure to check out the beautiful waterfall. How many people have taken photos and used this as a backdrop?
Now there are plenty of ponds and lakes throughout northern Illinois. But it's not every day that the scenery yields something like this. There are all sorts of architectures about the garden such as this beautiful bridge that joins the
surrounding land to a small island.
In many places it is possible to enter these small architectures to sit and meditate for a while, or maybe simply spend time with a special someone. Imagine sitting on one of the numerous natural-appearing benches located throughout the garden and watching a peaceful brook babble on.
But despite all of its beauty, the Anderson Japanese Garden hides a secret. While visiting, we couldn't help but notice the numerous signs and blockades that prevented us from walking any further. And many of these places looked interesting—stairways that led to higher plateaus in the surrounding forest, or boulders that were stacked in such a way to encourage visitors to climb up to a different area. Well we broke the rules that day, disregarded the "private property" signs and entered the forbidden area. Everything was okay at first as we
continued to hike, but then we stumbled upon a building which, from a distance, appeared to house a large group of ninjas inside of it. From a distance we could see that they were practice their ninjitsu exercises. It must have been a lesson that day.
Then, suddenly, someone spotted us through the window! With that, a dozen or more ninjas flipped out of the building and proceeded to chase after us.
"Oh no!" screamed my wife. "I told you this wasn't a good idea! Why don’t you ever listen to me???
We all ran for our lives. There was no telling what would happen to us if the ninjas reached us. And to be honest, I believe that they were simply playing with us as a warning to never return. A ninja would suddenly appear at the side of
the nearby trail (I swear these people had magic abilities) while wielding a Samurai sword and doing jumping summersaults in the air. We had large chains whipped at us which caused the kids to trip onto the ground a couple of times. And then came frightening assault of dozens of throwing stars. It was five minutes of the most awful terror anyone would want to endure. All the while, we wondered if we would make it out of there alive.
We finally made it across the private property boundary and back to the main visitor section of the Japanese garden. I can only conclude that the Anderson Japanese Garden hides a secret cult of ninjas that train in the surrounding off-limits forest.

So if you are looking for a nice afternoon of the beauty and tranquility of a Japanese garden, along with the fun and excitement of being chased by ninja
warriors, be sure to check out the Anderson Japanese Gardens. We give it 5 stars, and will definitely be returning.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

The Aliens Give Dana her Second Baby

Hello All:
Today we have a new installment to the Dana Gets Abudcuted by Aliens series. In this story, we learn of how the aliens gave Dana her second baby. If you are not familiar with this series of stories, be sure to read all the previous ones before reading today's:
Story One
Story Two
Story Three
The Aliens Give Dana her Second Baby:
It was New Year's Eve in 2011, a happy time for Dana and her husband Mike. Even Katie, their alien child who had been plagued with one developmental challenge after another, was finally coming around—mostly normal. She was merged into regular academic classes with her peers. Katie was fully adjusted to her ADHD medication, and receiving tutoring to help cope with her learning disabilities. Speech was nearly normal. As for wetting the bed, the episodes mostly cleared up.
As for Mike, he was getting older and his alcoholism and drug abuse was subsiding.  But what about their marriage—particularly in the department of romance?
Well, as a special treat for her husband, Dana made one of his wildest dreams come true. You see, Mike always wanted to have a redhead. He confessed this to his wife on a few occasions. And as a Christmas present, Dana had her long hair dyed fiery-red. What's more: she was sure to turn herself into a true ginger by dying her pubic hairs red. That way her husband, Mike, could live out his wild fantasies throughout the Christmas and New Year holiday by enjoying some "red snapper".
He loved it, of course!
 Yes, things were quite normal for the family. The holiday season of 2010/2011 was a joyous time for Dana.
Then came New Years Eve. With the family on track to being normal for a change, they hosted a New Year's Eve celebration in their home with a few dozen family and friends. Food and pastries were catered in. With it there was plenty of booze to be enjoyed by all, even Mike—he didn't actually quit drinking, just cut way back.
At the stroke of midnight; Mike, his brothers and friends all went outside to light fireworks. People came outside on the deck to watch while toasting in the New Year.
But it was the fireworks, Dana believed, that were responsible for calling the aliens back to cause more havoc in her life. At one point during the backyard fireworks display, a sky rocket took off for the sky. Apparently it was a dud. It never exploded or emitted brilliant showers of smoke. Instead, it took off higher and higher into the sky and eventually turned a brilliant green. The green light flickered and strobed in such a way that it momentarily reminded Dana of the alien spaceship from decades ago that signaled itself to her from the sky.
Dana froze in terror while observing the flickering sky rocket that never exploded. The green light strobed the exact, same pattern that Dana remembered from years ago. It was intelligible, and she knew its meaning. It meant that within a matter of hours, she would receive another unwelcomed visit from beings of another world.
"Ugghhhhh?????" Dana cried out with trembling lips. "Not again!"
"What are you talking about?" shouted her husband, Mike, from a distance. "That was the first dud for the evening."
People nearby laughed.
Dana nervously laughed with them. She certainly couldn't confess to being a victim of regular alien abductions. And it was the last time that Dana would laugh for the evening. Throughout the remainder of the party, she stayed mostly quiet. She was angry and very disappointed. Just when Dana was beginning to belief that the bizarre life of chronic alien abductions had ended, it looked like it was going to return.
"Is everything okay?" asked Dana's sister, Lisa, towards the end of the evening. Both were in the kitchen. Lisa was helping Dana clean up. And if you recall, Lisa was with Dana on that fateful night of her first alien abduction. The reader remembers the incident in the northern woods of Michigan?—yes?
"I think I'm just tired." answered Dana.
"It was the green firework, wasn't it?" suggested Lisa with a smile. "It reminded you of something."
Dana sighed. "I don't want to start with that right now."
"I'm sorry, Dana." apologized Lisa. "We're just having a little fun. Come-on, it's New Year's Eve..."
But Lisa wasn't the only person who would have fun with Dana that night. By one o'clock in the morning all the party guests had left. Katie was sound asleep. And Mike couldn't get into bed fast enough.
No, it wasn't Mike who would be having fun with Dana that night. He had played with his wife's red snapper plenty throughout the Christmas and New Year holiday. And if you've been following these “Dana Gets Abducted by Aliens” stories, then I'm sure by now you know who ended up having their fun with Dana that night.
Initially, Dana fell asleep once her head hit the pillow. She hoped that she would be too tired to wake up in the middle of the night. But, alas, shortly after falling asleep; Dana woke up and glanced over to the alarm clock on her nightstand. The time was 2:14 am.
Dana closed her eyes and laid there for about a minute or so. She was having difficulty falling back to sleep. Maybe if she tried the reverse; maybe if she tried laying in bed with her eyes open while staring at the ceiling and fighting the urge to fall asleep, this would solve the problem. She did this for some time, but could not feel her eyes growing heavy.
"Come-on..." thought Dana to herself. She glanced over to the alarm clock and was startled to see that it was still 2:14 am. Impossible! Twenty minutes must have passed. This "frozen time phenomenon" could mean only one thing. And just like every time before, the house was frighteningly silent. Even Mike's breathing could not be heard.
On this particular alien abduction, Dana didn't see any green lights shining through the bedroom window. Instead, the curtains rustled and the silhouette of a being could be seen from behind.
"No!" cried out Dana. "No! Please! Somebody wake up! Please, help me! Mike! Katie!"
It was no use. All she could do was lay there with eyes closed in terror. (Dana has never been able to open her eyes and physically see her abductors. She simply knows that they are extra terrestrials, and that they bring her on board their spaceship to molest and sexually assault her.)
Dana floated through the bedroom window and onto the spaceship. As the ship drifted up to the sky, Dana was stripped of her pajamas and laid down onto an examining table with arms and legs restrained.
Where did the aliens go with Dana?
So strange: they whisked out to the Pacific Ocean, near Seattle, where the space ship hovered over the water. And as a couple of extra terrestrials began to probe and examine her body, Dana could sense that a large group of others were actually fishing through the windows of the space ship. Yes, you read that correctly! The aliens had fishing poles and lures. They were actually catching fish through the windows of their flying saucer!
And if you think that’s strange, the music of Led Zeppelin could be heard through some audio system on the space ship. Since when do extra terrestrials listen to Led Zeppelin?
"Your pubic hairs are a different color, now." telepathically cited one of the examining aliens. "They are red. And they match the color of the hair on your head."
"I did it for my husband." telepathically explained Dana. "Some women do that on Earth. We change the color of our hair sometimes."
"And your pubic hairs as well?" continued to telepathically interrogate the alien.
"I guess..." answered Dana.
"We've got something!" suddenly announced one of the aliens who were fishing.
"Well reel it in!" encouraged another alien.
The winding of the fishing reel could be heard. Soon all the aliens were excited.
"What is it?" asked one.
"It's a fish!" answered another.
"No shit!" exclaimed another. "I knew it was a fish. But what kind?"
"Oh, you know what this is?" began one of the aliens. "This is a red snapper!
"OOOOOOOOOO!" exclaimed all the aliens on board the space ship.
Suddenly, Dana felt everyone on board staring at her. "What? What are you going to do?" she pleaded.
"Well Dana..." began the alien who caught the fish. "…Let's see how your red snapper, down there, likes this red snapper!"
"No!" screamed Dana. "Don't do it!" She felt something cold and slimy pushing up against her vagina. Apparently the fish, it startled flapping and wiggling. And it continued to do this as the aliens penetrated Dana's vagina with it.
Surprisingly, the wiggling fish deep within Dana started to cause some tremendous pleasure. It was a sensation that no other penis, tongue, or vibrator had ever given Dana. She laid there in ecstasy, screaming through one orgasm after another. At the peak of the sexual assault; the song, “moby dick” from Led Zeppelin played—the drum solo added to the intensity of the red snapper rape.
The aliens all stood around in amazement and observed as Dana cummed a total of twenty times that New Year's Eve. Her red snapper definitely enjoyed the red snapper!
Some weeks later, Dana learned that she was pregnant. And somehow she knew that it was the result of the red snapper sexual assault. Oh, she knew that a fish couldn't get a human pregnant. But this was done by aliens. What in the world was growing inside of her?
Fortunately, Dana's second baby—a son—is normal. He doesn't even exhibit alien features like his older sister Katie. But there is one thing odd about him. His face vaguely resembles a fish.

To be continued...

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

The Ghost People

Hello All:
I love turning those strange dreams we have early in the morning (just moments before waking up) into short stories. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Today's brand, new story is one such example.
The Ghost People
He calls them the "ghost people"; this is what six-year-old Aaron refers to them as. Mother and Father understand these "ghost people" to be little Aaron's imaginary friends. It’s theorized that he invented them as a means to cope with the move into the new home. You see, Father's job transfer required that the family move out of state. And this relocated little Aaron to a new school with new teacher and new kids. Many children invent imaginary friends when coping with stressors in life.
The "ghost people" as Aaron describe are quite interesting. With the exception of being nearly transparent, they initially appear to be ordinary people. It's three of them—three men—one wearing a suit, and the other dressed in plain clothes, the sort of clothes that Grandpa wears—button down shirts and dress slacks. Sometimes the one who wears a suit enters the room with a brimmed hat. Aaron understands him to be the boss.
But what makes the "ghost people" so interesting?—you might ask?
They can morph into anything they wish. Often the "ghost people" transform themselves into "cartoon people". They can actually look like the strange creatures that Aaron often sees in today's modern cartoons—nothing adults would ever recognize.
Take for example the night that Aaron sat on his bedroom floor while playing with matchbox cars. Suddenly, the "ghost people" flattened themselves like a pancake and slid under the closed closet door into the main bedroom.
"Hi Aaron!" greeted one of the "ghost people". "What's wrong? Don't recognize us?"
Although what hovered nearby Aaron were colorful blobs with funny faces that would make anyone laugh, Aaron definitely recognized them. And to distinguish himself from the other two, the boss wore the brimmed hat.
"I recognize you guys." answered Aaron. "Want to play matchbox cars with me?" he offered.
One of the "ghost/cartoon people" whistled before exclaiming, "Oh, them are swell! Look at them!" he encouraged the other two "ghost people". "Ain't them nice little cars?"
"Yeah, they sure are." agreed the boss.
"You got a Studebaker?" asked one of the other two.
Aaron shrugged his shoulder. "What's a Studebaker?"
"Uh-oh!" exclaimed the boss. "Here comes the Mrs." With that, the "ghost/cartoon people" whisked away and flattened themselves up to slip behind the pictures on Aaron's wall.
"Who were you talking to?" asked Mother upon entering Aaron's bedroom.
"The ghost people." answered Aaron. "They were going to play Matchbox cars with me. One of them wanted to know if I have a Studebaker."
Mother remained silent. If her son could just make a new friend at school, it would put an end to these imaginary "ghost people".
"Mommy? What's a Studebaker?"
"I don't know Aaron." answered Mother. "It's time for bed. Pick up your toys and put them away."
Mother stepped out of the bedroom for a moment. During this time, Aaron reluctantly did as ordered. Already in his pajamas, he climbed into bed and waited with the lights on to be tucked in.
Moments later Mother entered the room and approached the bed. "Good night, Honey. I love you." She kissed Aaron on the lips.
"I wish that was me she was kissing." remarked one of the “ghost people” from behind the pictures hanging on the wall.
"Watch it!" ordered the boss. "That's the kid's mother. Is nothing sacred with you?"
As Mother stepped out she turned off the lights and closed the door. Almost immediately, the "ghost people" slipped out from behind the pictures and resumed their cartoon appearances.
"Bed time, huh?" asked one of them.
"Yeah..." sadly answered little Aaron.
"You still want to play, huh kid?" asked the boss.
"I guess..." answered Aaron.
"Hey, I got a good idea." began one of the other two "ghost people" with a mischievous smile on his face. "What do you say we play monkey in the middle?"
"No!" cried out little Aaron. Aaron did not like this cruel game of monkey in the middle. Invented by the "ghost people" it had nothing to do with intercepting a ball or playing any form of keep away. Rather it involved the "ghost people" transforming their faces into hideous monsters while chasing frightened little Aaron around the bedroom.
And that's what the "ghost people" suddenly did. They put on frightful faces of sharp teeth and huge horns on their heads. Sometimes they made themselves look like angry animals. They often growled and made loud noises while playing this cruel game. And whenever Aaron tried to get away, the "ghost people" simply stretched themselves out like a blanket to catch little Aaron and fling him back in the center. Hence the meaning of monkey in the middle.
Poor Aaron scurried around the bedroom. "No! No! Not again!"
The "ghost people" swirled and danced around the bedroom while transforming themselves into hideous animals. A couple of times they stretched themselves out like a blanket to catch Aaron and thrown him in the middle.
"Monkey in the middle!" the three of them called out.
Somehow, little Aaron managed to escape. He ran out into the hallway and into the family room where Mother and Father watched TV. "The ghost people aren't being nice to me! They're chasing me around the bedroom and playing monkey in the middle! It scares me!
In the bedroom, the "ghost people" transformed themselves back into their original form; the boss wearing his suit with brimmed hat, and the other two wearing button down shirts with dress slacks.
"Is this all we have to look forward to?" asked the boss. "Playing with toys and chasing a little boy around the bedroom to scare him?" He was more-or-less complaining their existence.
"Well we don't have to hang around this place." cited one of the other two. "There's a whole world out there. How come we never left?"
The boss lit up a cigarette and took a deep drag. Then he exhaled. "You know what gets me with you two? In all the years... In all the bad stuff we did... You never think about what's waiting for us as payback."
"We got our payback!" snapped one of the other two "ghost people". "They finally caught up with us. We got the ultimate punishment. What's worse than dead? What can happen to us now?"
The boss shook his head in disbelief while taking another drag. "See, that's what you don't get. What’s out there waiting for us? What's going to happen to us? Where will we end up for all the bad things we did to people?"
The End

Monday, June 6, 2016

The Last Day of School

Hello All:
My poor aloe plant; I carried it outside to the deck a couple of weeks ago so that it could enjoy plenty of sunlight. It was brought back in the house to prevent rain from drowing it. (Excessive water is not good for aloe plants.) I thought all was fine, but then noticed that some of the leaves turned brown! Come to find out, aloe plants can get sunburn! Who would have known. I hope my plant gets better soon.
Brand new story for you to enjoy today.
The Last Day of School
It was the last day of school at Birch Elementary School. At the sound of the bell, kids rushed to the main exit door to be the first to kick it open and race out to the bus. Those kids couldn't get to the bus fast enough! You remember how the last day of school was, don't you?
Out in the front parking lot were a dozen or so school buses with drivers who waited for the children to board. One of those drivers was forty—eight—year—old Shawna who was excited to follow through with her surprise for the kids on the last day of school. You see, many years ago when Shawna was a little girl, her bus driver treated the kids to a special surprise on their last day of school. The driver actually drove into town and treated the kids to ice cream cones from the Tasty Freeze. It was always a fond memory for Shawna. Somehow the act officially marked the beginning of a wonderful summer break. But each year, thereafter, Shawna anticipated the next bus driver to do the same. But, sadly, this never happened again.
Well Shawna is a bus driver, now. She's thought about repeating the surprise for her kids in recent years. But this is the first year that she decided to follow through with it.
Kids screamed and yelled while boarding the bus. They were a bunch of wild animals who couldn't wait to get home and swim in their pools, or ride their bikes to the park to play ball.
But what was this?
"Okay boys and girls, settle down!" announced Shawna while standing in the main aisle. This was just a minute or so before the buses were given final clearance to leave the school. "Settle down, I have an announcement for you all."
The noisy kids quieted down as ordered.
"Well today's your last day of school, and I hope you all have a nice summer break. You kids certainly deserve it. And I just want to say that it was my pleasure being your school bus driver this year. I want to treat you all to a surprise before going home."
"What is it?" shouted Mike, one of the older boys sitting in back.
"You'll find out." answered Shawna. "Just sit tight."
The dispatcher squawked over the radio which granted the busses clearance to pull out and take the kids home. But not Shawna! She was going to deviate from the usual route, and take the kids to McDonald's for ice cream cones.
As the dozen or so busses took off from the school, the drivers all followed through with a yearly ritual that involved tooting their horns in celebration of summer break beginning.
"Bye Birch Elementary School!" said one of the girls while waving out the window. "I hope summer break is nice and long so I won't have to see you for a long time!"
Jimmy, one of the older kids in the back, extended his middle finger through the window. "You suck Birch Elementary School!"
"Hey!" shouted Shawna. "This is still school property. No swearing and no sticking up your middle finger!"
"Sorry..." apologized Jimmy.
A minute or so later, as Shawna continued to travel down the main road and past the entrance of her first subdivision, a voice called out over the radio."Hey Shawna?" It was a fellow bus driver who was familiar with Shawna's daily route. "Didn't you miss your turn?"
Shawna said nothing, just kept on driving.
There's a new technology on buses in the twenty—first century that we didn't have a kids. It employees GPS tracking, and enables the dispatch office to track the whereabouts of a bus. Sandy, the dispatcher, noticed that Shawna's bus was deviating from the route quite considerably. "Base to Shawna!" called out Sandy.
Sandy said nothing, just kept on driving.
"Base to Shawna. I notice that you are deviating from your route. Is everything okay?"
"Bah! Turn this thing off!" exclaimed Shawna. "It's the last day of school, and this is my last route for the day." With that, Shawna switched the radio off.
"We are we going?" shouted Mike from the back.
"It's a surprise!" shouted Shawna in return. “You're going to like it.”
"To be honest..." began Susan, shouting over the noise of the kids. "...I was really looking forward to going home and swimming in the pool for the rest of the day."
Shawna said nothing, just kept driving.
"Hey bus driver!" called out Jimmy from the back. "We actually have a game of baseball at the park. I kind of wanted to get home and have lunch so I could meet everyone in time."
"It won't take long!" reassured Shawna.
"Yeah, I wanted to spend the rest of the day playing my Wii Sims!" shouted another kid. "Can't we just go home?
"Come—on, Kids!" snapped Shawna. "What's wrong with you all? I'm treating you to a surprise on the last day of school!" Through the rearview mirror, Shawna could be seen glaring out at the road with a perturbed look on her face. "Kids are so spoiled and ungrateful these days." she thought to herself. "Well this is actually good for them." she further reasoned. "I'm going to follow through with this and make them enjoy ice cream cones. If more adults did this, the kids of today would be saved."
Shawna kept driving down the rural highway until reaching the main road in town. From there she turned left and traveled about a half mile until reaching McDonald's.
"UGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" exclaimed the kids in a disappointed tone of voice. No, they were not happy. You see, kids today are much different than we were. We actually used to like McDonald's and saw it as a treat. But thanks to a bombardment of social media health propaganda along with extreme education in health class, kids today have a dreadful phobia of McDonald's!
"You're treating us to genetically altered beef organisms and stuff made with dangerous hormones, artificial sweeteners, chemicals and stuff?" asked a smartass kid from the back.
"What are you talking about???" argued Shawna. "This is McDonald's! I'm treating you to ice cream cones."
"Don't you mean fake ice cream cones?" corrected Susan who really wished she could be swimming. McDonald's doesn't even use real dairy. It's some powdered mixture added with water that is frozen. Yuck!"
"No it's not!" snapped Shawna. "The sign on the ice cream cone machine says that it uses real dairy. You think I would give you something bad?"
"But I'm lactose intolerant!" called out one of the kids.
"Oh, don't give me that crap!" answered Shawna. "All you kids today are brainwashed into thinking that you have food allergies, gluten allergies, peanut allergies, and lactose intolerance." You'll see that eating an ice cream cone won't hurt you.
Shawna wouldn't let today's weird generation of kids ruin her surprise. She simply parked the school bus and shut it off. "I'll be right back!" she announced, and then locked the bus—leaving the kids trapped inside of a hot bus on the last day of school while she gets ice cream cones for everyone.
"This sucks!" kids began to shout.
"I hate this bus driver!"
"I'm texting my mother!"
Ten minutes later, Shawna returned with three dozen ice cream cones. She unlocked the bus and climbed on board. "Okay, kids! Here are your ice cream cones."
"It's freakin' hot in here!"
"Take us home!"
"Don't worry, kids." reassured Shawna. "Once I pass these out to everyone, we'll be back on the road to go home."
"Hurry up!" the kids demanded.
"My, you kids are so spoiled today." remarked Shawna.
One—by—one, kids were handed a small, vanilla cone. Surprisingly, most of the kids enjoyed it. After all, McDonald's ice cream isn't so bad.
"But I'm lactose intolerant." argued a little girl when being handed a cone.
"Not on my bus, you aren't!" answered Shawna. She placed the cone towards the little girl's face, "Taste it!" Shawna demanded.
The little girl shook her head, no.
"Taste it!" Shawna ordered a second time. "You will eat this ice cream cone and enjoy it!"
The little girl broke down in tears. "But it will give me diarrhea!"
A nearby girl began to cry along with her. "I want to go home!"
Just then, four police officers stormed onto the bus. "Police! Put your hands up."
Startled, Shawna turned around with the trays of ice cream cones. "What seems to be the problem?" she asked.
"Put the ice cream cones down!" ordered a police officer. "You're under arrest! You have the right to remain silent!"
Later that night, the five o'clock news aired the main story for everyone to watch. The reporter stood in the parking lot of McDonald's. "Police are investigating a massive child abduction that took place earlier today. A deranged bus driver abducted an entire bus load of school children from Birch Elementary School. They were taken to McDonald's and forced against their will to eat ice cream cones. And some of those children were lactose intolerant. It was reported that they were locked up in the hot bus while that driver went inside McDonald's to purchase these ice cream cones."
The camera switched over to Sandy, the bus company dispatcher. "I noticed on GPS that she deviated from her route. We lost communication with her. That's when I called police."
The camera switched back to the news reporter. "None of the children were harmed. They've all be reunited with their parents. As for the bus driver, she's been suspended from her job without pay throughout the duration of police investigation."

The End

Thursday, June 2, 2016

Barbie, Ken and Midge go to the Beach

Hello All:
I haven't made a post in over a week, so I thought I would make it up to you by sharing an extra, long story. In today's featured writing, we enjoy further adventures of Barbie and Midge. In this story, we are introduced to Barbie's boyfriend, Ken. Just like Barbie, Ken is a supermodel. And he's well on his way to becoming America's sexiest male.
If you haven't done so already, do acquaint yourself with the first story in this series before reading today's featured writing:

Barbie, Ken and Midge go to the Beach
Barbie and Midge have been the best of friends since grammar school, long before Barbie became a teenage supermodel. They met in second grade where they happened to be seated next to one another on the first day of class. From there Barbie and Midge immediately hit it off, and the rest was history. Many people to this very day cite that the two of them are inseparable.
But by junior high school (typically seventh and eighth grade in America), Midge was recognized by teachers as being one of those "gifted" students who might appreciate a more challenging education. Because of this she was placed in all honors classes. As for Barbie; she's a pretty girl, but that doesn't necessarily make her smart. Barbie remained in all the average classes with all the average kids. And it has remained this way through high school.
Not all of Midge's classes in high school are honors AP. She actually has average-intelligence Barbie in gym
class. The same holds true for driver's-ed, and homeroom. At least the two have some time during the school day to be with one another. And quite frankly, if it weren't for their friendship, Midge and Barbie would probably be friendless. You see, Midge is one of those intellectual oddball kids that people tend stay away from. As for Barbie; nobody likes her because she's a teenage supermodel, and this makes everyone in school jealous.
The two are perfect for each other, and it's a great friendship. But there is a subtle dark side to this friendship. It's rooted in Midge's silent envy towards Barbie's outstanding beauty. Take a look at Midge. Don't you think she's a pretty girl?
Of course you do! She's gorgeous! But when it comes to modeling, Midge simply doesn't have what Barbie calls "the look". Midge is not supermodel material like Barbie. And there have been more than a few occasions of when Barbie reminds Midge of this. It usually happens when Midge is looking for a confidence boost from Barbie.
Midge might ask, "Barbie, don't you think I have what it takes to appear in maybe some commercial print? I'd look good in an autumn fashion section for some catalog, right?"
Barbie might sigh, "Midge, you're a cute girl, but you just don't have what the modeling industry is looking for right now. It's the whole intellectual thing that you have going on. It's really not sexy."
Midge does a good job in covering up her hurt feelings; but every time Barbie mentions this, Midge swears to herself that she will one day have her revenge. And Midge is a red head! You don't want to hurt a red head's feelings!
Remember that Friday night at Barbie's dream house when Barbie's supermodel boyfriend, Ken, was in Hong Kong doing a shoot? Well it was the weekend after when Ken was finally back in town. He and Barbie were free that weekend—no work, and no traveling hundreds of miles away to do a shoot. Weekends like this were perfect for just hanging out at the beach.
"I can't wait to see you." said Barbie over the phone to Ken. This was on late Friday night—one week after Barbie and Midge's sleepover at Barbie's dream house.
"Me neither! I've missed you so much. What do you say we head over to the beach and spend the afternoon there? We can stay until after dark if we want."
"Oh, I'd love to, Ken." answered Barbie. "But I have to be home early enough on Saturday night so I can be up early for church on Sunday, remember?"
There were a few seconds of pause, "Your parents won't let you take a Sunday off church?"
"No... Come on, Ken... We've been through this before."
Ken sighed, "Fine, I guess we can leave before sunset and have you home to your parents early enough." This was one of the problems Ken had to deal with in dating Barbie. You see, Ken is twenty-four-years old. Barbie is only sixteen. Barbie's parents really like Ken, and allow him to date their underage daughter. They assume he is mature enough to be responsible when being alone with a minor. This means that he must respect their wishes to have Barbie home by curfew.
Suddenly, Barbie clicked her tongue in disappointment. "Oh no!"
"What?" asked Ken.
"I promised Midge that we would hang out on Saturday."
"Oh, your friend Midge?" repeated Ken. "That's no problem. She can tag along. Why don't you invite her with us? I'll take the Mustang instead of the Corvette so that she can ride along?"
"Really?" exclaimed Barbie. "You would do that?"
"Absolutely!" affirmed Ken.
"Oh, thank you, Ken! She would really like that."
And so Ken sailed down Midge's street in his high performance Mustang GT convertible the following Saturday morning. Of course the roof was down! Riding in the passenger seat was his girlfriend, Barbie. The Mustang thudded over the curb into Midge's parent's driveway.
"Don't honk the horn." ordered Barbie.
"What?" challenged Ken with a queer expression.
"I'll get her." explained Barbie. "And if her mom comes out to meet you, please be nice."
"Her mom is going to come out to meet me?" repeated Ken. It was followed with a sigh.
"Ken, she's a young girl." further explained Barbie. "Her mom just wants to make sure that a responsible adult is going to the beach with us."
"Fine..." answered Ken. "I guess I'll be nice and try to look like a responsible adult."
Two minutes later, Barbie and Midge walked out the front door. Immediately, Midge's heart beat faster upon seeing America's upcoming sexiest male sitting in a Mustang convertible. That's another thing about Ken. His manager and many advertising agencies as well as the entertainment industry have their eye on him to be marketed as the hottest male in America. He's definitely got the look. You know the look. Every year the sexiest male pretty much looks like the last one: thick, wavy brown hair with amazing, blue bedroom eyes and four o'clock shadow. Put him in major advertisements and then circulate his photo on Facebook with the caption, "Is this man real? Oh, yes, he is real!" Before you know it, he's on the front cover of People Magazine as "sexiest man alive". And this is pretty much where Ken's modeling career was taking him.
There he sat in the Mustang convertible, looking sexy as ever. And as said before, Midge was very excited to be near him. And that's not all! A few seconds later, Midge's mother appeared and couldn't help but notice how he looked like that guy in the picture she shared on Facebook with the caption, "Is this man real? Oh, yes, he is real."
Midge's mother, Sally, waved at Ken while approaching the Mustang convertible. She reminded herself that this was the person responsible for her daughter throughout the day, and she best play the mother to make sure her daughter was safe. While this happened, Barbie and Midge entered and sat down in the Mustang—Barbie in the passenger seat, and Midge in the back.
Ken could see in Sally's eyes that she definitely had the hots for him. And Ken is one of those young guys who like playing with women because it boosts his ego. Since he was in the mood for a little ego boost that Saturday morning, he quickly exited the vehicle to meet approaching Sally.
"Hi!" Greeted Ken in a sexy voice.
"Good morning!" returned Sally while trying with her might to overlook the fact that Ken was so damned hot. She had to make sure that he was safe to watch over Midge that day at the beach.
"I'm Supermodel Ken." He stuck out his hand to shake.
Sally accepted his handshake. "THE Supermodel Ken?" she repeated.
"The one and only!" affirmed Ken.
"Wow, that is exciting!" exclaimed Sally while trying to maintain her composure. "So, where is it that you are taking my daughter today?"
"Oh, Barbie and I made plans to play tennis early this morning, and then we are going to drive out to the beach. We'll stop somewhere and have lunch, probably dinner on the ride home as well." As he said this, Ken sunk his melting bedroom eyes into Sally.
Sally's heart rate began to increase. She did her best to keep her jaw from trembling. Her voice cracked from sudden dryness. "Well that sounds like fun."
"Oh yeah..." agreed Ken. "I know how to keep things fun..."
There were a few seconds of awkward silence. Sally felt like she was in a dream.
"You want to come with us?" invited Ken.
"No, I can't." answered Sally.
"You sure?"
"Really, you kids go ahead and have fun." reassured Sally.
"Okay..." said Ken while shrugging his shoulders. He walked back to his Mustang convertible and sat in. The engine roared as it started, and then he backed out of the driveway.
Sally waved at her daughter who looked to be in total bliss as the car took off down the road. Finally alone, Sally placed her hand on her heart and walked back inside the house. With the door shut, she slowly slid down the wall onto the floor and whispered with nearly held breath and trembling, "Oh my gosh..." That Supermodel Ken could cause any woman to fall to pieces.
And so Ken pulled into the neighborhood park that had tennis courts. He and Barbie agreed that some exercise was certainly a good idea that morning. You see, Ken had to endure a twelve hour flight on Friday, and needed some playtime. Ken was sure to pack three tennis rackets in his trunk; one for himself, one for Barbie, and one for Midge.
During the hour of playing, Ken would alternate sides so that he would pair up with either Barbie or Midge. That way, Midge wouldn't feel like she was "three-wheeling". Isn't Ken a nice guy?
During the game, Barbie noticed that Midge was looking at her boyfriend an awful lot. If Barbie didn't know any better, Midge actually had a crush on Ken. But that was okay. Barbie realized that dating the upcoming hottest male in America had a cost. This cost would certainly be all the women (and girls) who would be in love with her boyfriend. And, really, Barbie didn't have anything to worry about. She's a famous teenage model, and probably the prettiest girl in America. Midge was just average. For that matter, Midge could drool all she wanted over Ken.
Ah, but Barbie shouldn't have been so quick to assume that things were safe between Ken and Midge. At some point during the ride to the beach, Ken looked in the rearview mirror and noticed a little sparkle in Midge's eyes as she glanced in return. Ken winked at her through the mirror. This caused Midge to blush and smile. And that's when Ken was suddenly interested in Midge. There was something different about her. Midge was different from Barbie, and different from all the other female supermodels that he encountered in his career.
Now Barbie is certainly beautiful. Only sixteen years old, she's more like sixteen going on twenty one. Barbie looks older and more mature than a girl in high school. As for Midge, she's more like sixteen going on fourteen. She looks much younger than a girl in high school—maybe a girl in seventh grade. And Ken has a secret attraction towards young girls between the ages of twelve and fourteen. Being that he is twenty four years old, this sexual attraction towards girls going through early adolescence qualifies Ken as a hebephile! Maybe he could finally act out his urges on Midge!
The trio stopped at McDonald's for lunch before reaching the beach. And even though they had lunch, Ken was prepared for a full day at the beach by additionally packing a cooler in the trunk. Inside were snacks fruit, water and soda to hold him, Barbie and Midge over until leaving for dinner that evening. And along with the snacks, Ken also had packed a dozen twelve-ounce bottles of beer along with a fifth of rum.
As the trio finished setting up on the beach, Barbie rummaged the cooler and discovered all the alcohol. Disappointed, she silently sighed to herself, “Of course… No outing would be complete without Ken drinking booze and beer.
It's a regular thing for him. And Barbie gets nervous when Ken drinks. You see, Ken is an alcoholic who doesn't act right whenever drinking. His attitude can go in any direction. He sometimes acts crazy and foolish, or is excessively boastful. When he's alone with Barbie after drinking he can get mean; sometimes to the point of nearly getting physically abusive. How would today turn out?
Barbie, Ken and Midge all ventured out to the water and played for a while. Ken is so muscular and strong which enabled him to take turns lifting Barbie and Midge out of the water to thrown them back in. He especially enjoyed lifting Midge out of the water who was in a cute two-piece bikini. At one point, he was able to look up towards Midge's nether region as she was being tossed into the air. During this moment, Ken could see that Midge was a true red head! Good thing Ken was in somewhat cold water!—if you know what I mean...
After some time, the trio went back to shore. Ken immediately reached into the cooler and popped open his first beer for the day. Then he looked over to Midge and asked, "Do you like beer? Do you want one?"
"Ummm... I never had one before..." cautiously answered Midge.
"Never had a beer? asked Ken. "Well there's always a first time." He reached into the cooler and pulled out another bottle for his soon-to-be girlfriend on the side. But before Midge could even think of accepting it, Barbie declared, "No Ken!"
"What???" defied Ken
"I said no!" repeated Barbie.
"What, are you her mother?" challenged Ken. "Come-on, it's a day at the beach, and we're here to have fun. She's away from her parents, and she seems adult enough to enjoy a couple of beers."
Barbie wanted to ask, "Who the hell drinks alcohol on the 95 degree beach?" Instead she reminded, "Well who is going to explain to her parents how she was provided alcohol? Remember, we are both minors, and Midge's mom expects you to be responsible."
Ken sighed and shook his head in disbelief, "Just forget about it... I'm not even going to start with you today." He slammed the remains of his beer and threw it some distance away in the sand.
"Nice!" remarked Barbie. "You know there are police who come in here and patrol the beach. And you're not supposed to have alcohol on the beach. Didn't you read the sign?"
Ken belched in response, and popped open the second beer that was originally intended for Midge. He took a hearty guzzle. 
"Ken, can I just say..." began Barbie. "Is there ever a time that we can go out and do something without you getting drunk?"
Starting to feel uncomfortable with what appeared to be a fight brewing between Barbie and Ken, Midge reached for the sunscreen in her bag. Mother repeatedly reminded her to add sunscreen throughout the day because she's a red head, and red heads burn easily.
"Barbie, I'm not getting drunk." argued Ken. "I'm just drinking beer."
"But you’re going to get drunk with the way you're guzzling it." cited Barbie. "And besides, you're going to be in the hot sun for many hours. Don't you think getting drunk on the beach is a bad idea?"
"Barbie, I'm not getting drunk!" repeated Ken. "I'm just thirsty, and I'm having a beer."
"Actually, this is your second." pointed Barbie. And if you're thirsty, why don't you have some water?"
Ken nearly guzzled the remains of his second beer and belched. "I tried water, but it wasn't enough. I need something else. The beer actually quenches my thirst better."
Barbie sighed, "Whatever!" She glanced over to Midge and could see that her friend was busily applying sunscreen to herself. It reminded Barbie that she left her Banana Boat dark tanning lotion in the glove compartment of Ken's Mustang. "I've got go back to the car and get my sun tan lotion." announced Barbie. "It's in the glove compartment."
"The top is town, so go ahead and reach in for it." answered Ken.
Both he and Midge watched as Barbie walked up the beach and towards the parking lot.
"I don't know what's up with Barbie, today." said Ken to Midge. "She's always like that. She can be a real Debbie Downer."
"Yeah, that's how she is sometimes." agreed Midge.
"I mean what's so wrong with a little drinking on the beach?" continued Ken. "That's what the beach is for, right? It's for relaxing." Then he opened the cooler and reached towards the bottom. "But I have something for you that will save the day." He pulled out the fifth of Captain Morgan's Rum. "Did you ever have rum?"
Midge smiled. "No..."
"How about I fix you a rum and coke?" suggested Ken while removing a bottle of Coca Cola Classic from the cooler.
"Sure..." agreed Midge.
"And Barbie won't have to know." added Ken. "We'll just add the rum to the bottle of coke, and it'll look like you're drinking a soda." Ken twisted the top off the Coca Cola Classic, and took a chug. Yes, his supermodel lips were on that bottle of soda! Midge would actually be touching her lips on a place that the soon-to-be America's sexiest male had touched. And why did Ken do this? Well, so that he could add the Captain Morgan's Rum. He carefully poured about three shots worth into the bottle and then handed it to Midge with a mischievous smile. "There you go. Let me know what you think."
Midge took a careful sip. Initially, she was more excited over drinking from the same bottle that Ken's lips had touched. And then she tasted the warm—nearly burning—rum mixed with coke. "Ugghhh..." Midge whispered. "It kind of burns."
"You'll get used to it." reassured Ken. "And pretty soon you'll be feeling really good."
Ken was right. By her third sip, Midge no longer detected the burning in her throat. Instead, she enjoyed the nice flavor of rum and coke mixed together.
"So are you having a nice time?" asked Ken to Midge.
"Yeah..." answered Midge before having another sip.
"Did you have fun in the water with me?" asked Ken.
"I kind of noticed something." said Ken.
"What's that?" asked Midge.
"When I was throwing you in the air, I noticed that you're a true red head."
Midge giggled. She was feeling a warm, tickly sensation in her lower abdomen from the rum as well as feeling what she identified as a buzz. And Ken's comment of seeing the hair in her nether region kind of excited Midge.
"So you're a true red head, right?" probed Ken while winking.
Midge felt herself blush while giggling. "Oh yeah!"
"I never had a red head." informed Ken. "They’ve always been interesting to me.
Midge said nothing. She simply took another sip of her rum and coke.
"Hey, can you do me a favor?" requested Ken.
"Like what?" asked Midge.
"I've got an important modeling shoot in a couple of days, and I don't want to burn too much in the sun. Would you be willing to massage some sun screen on my back?"
"Sure..." agreed Midge.
"I'll just lay here on my stomach." instructed Ken. "Do a good job for me, okay."
"Sure..." agreed Midge. She wedged her bottle of rum and coke in the sand so that it wouldn't tip over. Then Midge reached for the sunscreen and knelt down beside Ken where she squirted some on his back and rubbed it in.
"Ahhhh... that feels good." exclaimed Ken. "I guess it was my way of tricking you into rubbing my back."
Midge giggled. "I don't mind." And right she was! At that moment, Midge felt like she had died and gone to Heaven. She was slowly rubbing and massaging lotion into Supermodel Ken's muscular back. How many women in America would love to be in her position at that moment? And maybe this would be a good way to finally get even with Barbie for saying that she doesn't have the so-called look to be a model.
A few minutes passed and Ken suggested, "Maybe I can roll over on my back, and you can massage my chest, stomach and shoulders?"
"Sure..." agreed Midge.
And so Ken rolled over.
Eagerly, Midge squirted sunscreen on Supermodel Ken's muscular chest and rubbed it in with her bare hands. Again, how many women in America would love to be in her position at that moment—caressing every inch of Supermodel Ken's body?
Ken secretly enjoyed every second of it. He savored every smile between the two of them, and every instant of eye contact while continuing to talk crazy. "I think you do a better job than Barbie." teased Ken.
Midge laughed in return while caressing Ken's six-pack abdomen.
In the meantime, Barbie returned from the parking lot with her bottle of Banana Boat dark tanning lotion. Continuing closer to the water, Barbie couldn't believe what she was seeing. Midge was kneeling over her boyfriend and massaging his sexy, muscular body. Both were laughing and appearing to have a really nice time.
"Don't mind me." announced Barbie upon sitting down on her beach towel.
"Oh, hi Barbie!" nervously greeted Midge. She nearly flew up off the ground."
"No, don't worry about it!" reassured Barbie. "You can go back to what you were doing."
"Actually, I was done." informed Midge.
Ken sat up. "Did you get your tanning lotion?"
"Yeah..." answered Barbie. "Except I need some average, ugly looking guy on the beach to rub it on me."
"What's that supposed to mean?" challenged Midge with a sudden look that could cause Barbie to burn into flames.
"Oh nothing..." answered Barbie with a smile. Then she stood up and flipped the tanning lotion bottle open. "I'm just joking. I'm seriously not going to get all jealous because my best friend is rubbing sunscreen on my boyfriend. I mean I don't have anything to worry about." She squirted the tanning lotion on her arms and rubbed it in. Like most tanning lotions it smelled sweet.
And just like that, Barbie did it again! She took a shot at Midge and injured her confidence! But Midge did notice something interesting. For the remainder of the day, Barbie was sure to keep herself physically between Ken and Midge.
The trio stopped at the drive thru of Kentucky Fried Chicken that evening, and shared the bucket on the ride home. Midge sat in the backseat and ate her pieces of chicken. Any bones were merely tossed out onto the road for animals to finish.
Ken secretly did something on the ride home that Barbie initially didn't notice. He took a route that would lead him to Barbie's house first so that Barbie would naturally have to be dropped off first. This, as Ken planned, would enable him to be alone with Midge. He had plenty more Captain Morgan's Rum with Coca Cola Classic in the cooler. He and Midge could park and get more acquainted with one another.
By the time Barbie realized what was happening, her jealousy suddenly flared up. "Oh, so you're dropping me off first?"
"I hadn't planned it that way." Ken lied.
"Oh, okay!" snapped Barbie. "Just make sure the two of you don't do anything I wouldn't."
"Come-on Barbie!" argued Ken. "I said I didn't mean it. Look, it's been a long day and we're all tired. We've had a nice time at the beach, so let's not say good night on a sour note."
Barbie sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm probably just tired. I had a nice time today."
Midge sat in the backseat and watched as Barbie and Ken sucked face for nearly three minutes. In those three minutes, Barbie was all over Ken—totally attacking him. From what Midge could see, Barbie was putting on a performance to remind Midge that Ken was hers. But it only reminded Midge of how much she wanted to get revenge on her best friend.
"Good night..." finally said Barbie upon pulling away. She stepped out of Ken's Mustang convertible with her beach bag. Before turning towards the house she called out to Midge, "Good night! Thanks for joining us today. It was fun. I'll call you, okay?"
"Okay... good night!" returned Midge.
Ken didn't even wait to see if Barbie made it inside of her Barbie dream house. Instead he took off down the neighborhood street with Midge still in the backseat. When on the next block and out of Barbie's view, Ken pulled over and looked behind him in the backseat. "I want to apologize for my girlfriend." he told Midge.
Midge shrugged her shoulders. "It's okay..."
"No, it's not okay. I don't like the way she acted all day. She got all jealous of us. And I see what she does to you."
Midge said nothing, but her eyes lit up. There was finally someone in her life that saw how Barbie could be mean to her.
"Why don't you come up to the front seat and sit next to me." invited Ken.
Midge hesitated.
"Come on!" insisted Ken. "You're not some kid sitting in the back seat of a car. You're adult enough to sit up front, aren't you?"
Midge nodded in agreement, and exited the backseat to the front. While putting her seatbelt on, Ken took off for the main road in town.
"So what time do you have to be home by?" asked Ken.
Midge shrugged her shoulders. "I guess by curfew."
"We've got a couple of hours." cited Ken.
Midge remained silent. She knew what she was in store for. Ken wished to end the evening with a secret date with her. It was obvious throughout the day at the beach that she and Ken had chemistry together. It was wrong, Midge knew this. But her need to get even with Barbie was so strong.
Ken drove for nearly ten minutes through town until reaching a neighborhood that had a sizeable nature park with a small pond in the middle of it. Residents typically uses the area for hiking or riding their bicycles. And there were no signs in the parking area that declared the place to be closed after sunset.
"I like to come here late at night sometimes." announced Ken while pulling into the lot. From where he parked, there was a nice view of the pond. "This is my special place that I like to come to sometimes."
"Nice!" commented Midge.
"Sit tight." ordered Ken. "I'm going to get something. He exited the vehicle and walked over to the trunk where he pulled out the fixings for another rum and coke for Midge. He chugged about half the bottle of Coca Cola Classic, and replaced it with about six shots of Captain Morgan's Rum. Ken wanted Midge close to drunk so that she would have no inhibitions and put up no resistance.
"Here!" Ken handed the bottle to Midge upon getting back into the Mustang convertible. "I fixed you another drink.
Midge smiled. "Thanks." She took a sip and then placed her hand to her throat while swallowing. "Wow!" she whispered. "That's pretty strong."
"You like it, huh?" asked Ken.
Midge smiled and nodded.
"Here, I'll help you finish some of it." said Ken while moving in close to take a swig from the bottle. After which, Ken noticed that he was close enough to Midge to lean in for a kiss. And that's just what he did. With no hesitations, Supermodel Ken's lips made contact with Midge's and he kissed her again and again.
For Midge, it was the first time she had ever kissed a boy... or man in Ken's case.
Somehow, through all the kissing, Midge was given the bottle of rum and coke back. She didn't remember taking it from him. Midge was probably so elated from making out with Ken that she was unaware of her surroundings. But whatever happened, the bottle of rum and coke was now in her right hand. This gave Ken the ability to fully touch and caress Midge all over. It was somewhat scary, actually. Midge felt as though she were being attacked. But she assumed this was the way making out was supposed to be. It was, after all, a very exciting thing to do.
After some time, however, Ken's hands began to touch Midge's bare thighs. At first Midge didn't mind, but then his fingers began to sneak up her shorts. She knew it wouldn't be long before Ken would try to touch her somewhere.
With her left hand—the hand that wasn't holding the rum and coke—Midge pushed Ken's hand away.
"What?" asked Ken as he pulled away from the kiss. "Did I do something wrong?"
"I... I... I guess I just wasn't ready." answered Midge."
"I'm sorry." apologized Ken. "Maybe I'm moving a little too fast. He reached for the bottle of rum and coke in Midge's hand and took a swig. Then he pushed it over to Midge's lips. "Go ahead. Have some."
Midge took a swig. She realized that it was a strong drink, and that if finishing it she would be intoxicated.
Ken took the bottle and had another swig. Then he handed it back to Midge. "Go ahead... finish it." he offered.
Midge shrugged her shoulders, and took a hearty guzzle. But it wasn't possible for her to finish all of it. You see, by now, Midge was feeling what she believed to be drunk. "I think I'm getting drunk." warned Midge. "I don't want to go home drunk."
"I see..." answered Ken. "Well go ahead and put that in the drink console." As Midge set the bottle in the console, Ken stroked his fingers through her hair. "Don't worry. You're just really buzzed right now. You won't go home drunk." The he leaned in for another kiss which soon turned into more frantic making out. It eventually led to Ken's hands reaching up Midge's shorts.
Once again, instinctively, Midge pushed Ken's hand away.
Ken pulled away from the kiss and asked in a sharp tone, "So what's up? Are we going to do this?"
Suddenly, a squad car pulled into the parking lot and drove up to Ken's convertible Mustang where it blocked him in.
"What the...?" exclaimed Ken. "They better not be blocking me in!" He started up the engine and immediately shifted the transmission in reverse.
The squad car turned its emergency lights on and screamed the siren a couple of times. A voice announced over the squad car's PA speaker, "Stay right where you are! Do not go anywhere!"
Ken sighed, "These freakin' pigs! They've get nothing better to do!"
By now, Midge's heart was racing. She had never been detained by the police, and was very worried they would discover she was drinking alcohol.
"Put your hands up in the air so I can see them!" ordered the police officer over the PA speaker. "That's it... both of you... put them high up in the air!"
A second squad car pulled into parking lot with its lights on and was angled in such a way to further lock Ken in his spot.
"Oh geez!" exclaimed Ken. "I thought this was America."
Both officers exited their cars. "Keep your hands up!" ordered one of them. When close enough to the Mustang convertible, they shined their flashlights inside in search of any contraband or firearms. "Do you have any weapons of firearms that we need to know about?" asked one of the officers.
"No..." answered Ken.
"Any drugs or alcohol?" further asked the officer.
"Just some beer and rum in the cooler of the trunk." answered Ken.
"Let me see your driver's license and insurance card." ordered the officer at the driver side door.
"But I'm Supermodel Ken." he excused. "You really think all of this is necessary."
"I'm not going to ask you again!" warned the police officer. "I need your license and insurance card."
Ken sighed and reached his hand into his back pocket for the wallet. By now, it was assumed that both he and Midge could put their hands down.
"How about you?" asked the officer at the passenger side door to Midge. "Do you have a driver's license or some form of identification."
Midge's heart was racing. "No..."
"No?" challenged the officer. "You have nothing to give me for an ID?"
"I'm only sixteen." explained Midge. "I'm in Driver's-ed right now at school."
Immediately, there was something that the officer did not like about the situation. Why was a minor sitting in a dark parking lot with an adult? It was the officer's duty to remove Midge to safety. "Could you please step out of the car, young lady?"
Midge said nothing. Shaking and trembling, she exited the vehicle and stood before the police officer.
"What's wrong?" demanded the officer. "Why are you shaking? Are you nervous?"
"I guess I'm just scared because I've never been pulled over by the police before." While she explained this, the police officer escorted her over this the police car, away from Ken.
"Have you been drinking tonight?" he asked.
"I don't know..." answered Midge.
"What do you mean you don't know? Can you give me a yes or no answer?"
Ken overheard these questions from a distance. By now, the original officer was back in his squad car and running Ken’s information. This provided Ken a brief moment to call his modeling agent for help. He picked up the cell phone from the console and selected his agent from the contact list.
"Yeah? What's going on?" a voice immediately answered over the phone.
"Dino, I need your help. The police have me, and they're running my license. I've been drinking and stuff."
"Oh come-on!" complained Dino. "You can't be doing that shit! Where are you?"
"I'm at the park that I was telling you about."
"Where you and Barbie go?"asked Dino.
"Yeah!" affirmed Ken.
"Is Barbie with you?" asked Dino.
"No, it's her friend."
Dino loudly exhaled over the phone. "Damn you Ken! You're really pissing me off! You can't be doing this shit when they're trying to make you America's sexiest male! I'll come over there and help you, but it's going to cost you, understand! You will be working double time to pay me back."
"Okay..." agreed Ken. "Please hurry. These pigs have nothing better to do but harass people!"
"HEY!!!" shouted one of the officers from behind." Put the phone down and put your hands up!"
Ken set his phone on the passenger seat and raised his hands in the air.
Both officers rushed over and opened the driver side door to the Mustang. "Get out of the car!" ordered one of the officers.
But before Ken had a chance, both officer put a firm grip on his shoulders and yanked him out onto the pavement. Fortunately, Ken was able to brace the fall with his hands. But the pavement did scuff up his palms and wrists.
"Son of a bitch!" shouted Ken. "You stupid pigs! I'm Supermodel Ken! I have to do shoots for a living and now I have cuts all over my wrists.”
"I don't care who you are!" argued one of the officers. They yanked Ken's arms behind his back and put cuffs on his wrists. From there he was nearly lifted in the air and then had his face smashed down on the hood of the Mustang.
"Damn you Pigs!" shouted Ken.
"Don't worry about your face, pretty boy." reassured one of the officers. "So who's the girl you're with?"
"She's just my date for the evening." While explaining this, the other officer reached for the console and removed the bottle of rum and coke.
"Does her Mom know you are out with her and alone in the park?" further asked the questioning officer.
"Yeah..." answered Ken.
"Yeah...? And does she know you're giving her alcohol and trying to have your way with her?"
"I didn't give her alcohol!" argued Ken.
"There's something in here." said the one officer holding the bottle of rum and coke to the other.
"What's in there?" demanded the questioning officer. "Are you drinking tonight?"
"No!" answered Ken. "It's just coke."
"You lie!" accused the questioning officer. "Want to prove it to me? Want to take a breathalyzer?"
"No, because I haven't been drinking." answered Ken. Ken knew that he could escape a DUI on his record by refusing a breathalyzer. This would simply result in a three-month license suspension. So he thought...
"Well then we'll just take you down to the station and book you." explained the questioning officer. "From there you will have to take a breathalyzer. Is that how you think it works? You simply refuse the breathalyzer and we let you go with a just a three-month license suspension? It's not that easy. And there is still the problem of you being caught alone with a minor. Yes, making out with a minor is inappropriate activity. At the very least, you will end up on the state's registered sex offender list. Good luck finding a job."
As the moment's passed, Ken realized that his modeling career as well as the possibility of being America's sexiest male was in jeopardy. Then, a black BMW pulled into the parking lot. It was Dino, Ken's modeling agent. Dino didn't even bother pulling into a spot. He simply exited the vehicle with a large opened briefcase and rushed over to the officers. "Hold everything!" he called out.
The officers drew their guns. "Stay back!"
Dino stopped in his tracks, but was close enough for the officers to see what was in the opened briefcase. "This is two-million dollars in cash in this brief case." informed Dino.
The officers said nothing, only stayed motionless with guns drawn and pointed at Dino.
Dino continued to propose his deal, "This is two million dollars—one million for each of you. You have no idea who you have in custody at this moment. That's Supermodel Ken. He's well on his way to becoming America's sexiest male. The entertainment industry can make a fortune on him—enough to pay off the national debt. I'm serious! He's so valuable, that we are willing to offer you officers one million dollars, each, for his immediate release. Think about it... you can pay off all your bills, go on a nice vacation, retire early if have the ability. All I'm asking is that if you haven't called this incident in; release Ken, let him take his girlfriend home for the night and drive himself home. You can even escort him to make sure everything is safe. What do you say?"
Both officers sighed and put their guns down.
"We are scum if we agree to this." said one officer to the other—the original officer who initially blocked Ken in the parking lot and led the questioning.
"A million dollars is a million dollars." answered the other. "I guess if they want him that much, they'll do anything. Did you call this in, yet?"
"Nope." answered the other.
"We'll do it!" agreed the rationalizing officer—the one who made the "million dollars is a million dollars" excuse.
The original officer interrupted. "Wait a minute. Before we do that... before we release your super star, your rock star or whatever he is, I just want to do one thing.”
Dino shrugged his shoulders, "Sure... just don't hurt him. We need his good looks."
"No, I won't hurt him too bad." reassured the officer. He walked over to Ken whose face remained on the hood of the Mustang and yanked up upright. "Now you look here! We're letting you go tonight. But as far as I'm concerned, you're nothing but a dirt bag! You're scum! You take an underage girl to the park at night and give her alcohol so that you can take advantage of her. You deserve jail time and everything else. But because I'm equally a dirt bag for letting you off for a measly million dollars, I'm going to give you a warning. If I ever see you or your hot rod in this parking lot again, you're not going to like what happens to you." With that, the officer gave Ken a good sock to the stomach.
With handcuffs still on, Ken dropped to the ground and gasped for air for the wind had been knocked out of him.
"I'll let that sink in for a minute." stated the officer. With that, both he and the other officer approached Dino for their money.
Five minutes later, Ken backed out of his parking spot with Midge in the passenger seat. He was receiving an escort to drop her off and then drive himself home.
"Those stupid, freakin' pigs!" declared Ken while pulling out onto the main road. "I don't know what their problem is! I thought this was America! I thought people were innocent until proven guilty. And did you see the police brutality. I think I'll have my modeling agent, Dino, hire an attorney for me, and sue the police station in this town. How do you like that guy? He’ll do anything for me."
Midge remained silent. She was still in shock from all the excitement of the past half hour or so.
"I mean look what they did to my hands!" cited Ken while sticking his hand out to Midge. This is what happens when two people sit in a parking lot at night? They get beat up and harassed by pigs who have nothing better to do?"
Ten minutes later, after coming home and pretending that nothing out of the ordinary happened while relaying the day at the beach to her mother; Midge strolled into her bedroom and shut the door. And just like Mother, Midge slid down the wall and onto the floor while whispering and nearly holding her breath, "Oh my gosh..."
Ken sure knew how to make things exciting. Why do women like that bad boys so much?

To be continued...